Our Long Goodbye – by Jenny Harris
I had the privilege to be lead artist on the Care Aesthetics project at Manchester University led by James Thompson, alongside a great team of academics, researchers and practitioners.
The Care Lab - which came out of this work - have supported me in the creation and development of my recent exhibition Our Long Goodbye and in this blog I explain some of the thinking behind the work and how it was received.
Between June and December 2025, I toured an exhibition of photos, film and texts called Our Long Goodbye to four venues – exploring my Mum and Alzheimer’s and my relationship to Mum and this disease too.
I am a freelance drama practitioner – and have never made an exhibition before so why this and why now?
Well, it all started in Covid. Mum and Dad had moved up to Manchester to a care home near me and four years later Dad died (his funeral was the first day of lockdown). So it was this really awful time where we couldn’t see Mum just after Dad had died and then even when we could visit it was through windows and all masked up and my Mum seemed so confused. It was hard to explain what was going on, but I was still visiting – and so began the photos. My phone became filled with images of mum which I found fascinating – her gaze, her room, her changing skin, life in care seen through a daughter’s eyes……… but even then, I wasn’t planning an exhibition.
This changed when a friend who had seen the pictures told me about the Arts Council’s DYCP fund (Develop Your Creative Practice) – where you show a step change in your arts practice. So I applied.
I wondered what might it look like if I explored my Mum’s journey and our story through photographs?
I got that fund. And for one night only I showed the work to an audience at the Whitworth Art Gallery (the Care Lab was based there.) Really, I was trying to show my feelings about Alzheimer's and just how difficult it is as a carer to watch someone that you love who was once so full, vibrant and rounded start and continue to fade away.
And I know how controversial a topic this is - but in a way that propelled me to do more and to shine a light on this controversy. I wanted the exhibition to consider the question - how can we artistically and ethically talk about Alzheimer’s?
I think after the one night of showing the exhibition I thought it would be done, but the feedback I got about the universal themes that I was covering – grief, illness, love, relationships, dementia - was so important (?), and it pushed me to want to do more.
So I went back to the Arts Council, and I got project funding and created a tour comprising of three Manchester/ Greater Manchester venues and one in Kirklees – Waterside Arts, Sale, The Creative Wellness Centre in Huddersfield, Arts for Recovery in the Community in Stockport, and Manchester Central Library.
I said in my application that I wanted to open up conversations around Alzheimer's and dementia - but I don't think I realised just how much Our Long Goodbye was going to do that.
Really, I was trying to show my feelings about Alzheimer's and just how difficult it is as a carer to watch someone that you love who was once so full, vibrant and rounded start and continue to fade away.
Here are just 2 of the many responses on the postcards.
There was a visitor’s book for comments and feedback postcards which asked three questions -
What spoke to you?
What will stay with you?
Perhaps you have your own story of dementia to tell?
There was a hugely positive response to the exhibition, largely by carers who through looking at the work felt seen and validated. There were also some important questions around issues of ethics and representation.
People of all ages came and saw it - some who have grandparents with dementia, people who know a bit about it but haven’t seen this end of the disease - lots of affirming messages on the postcards and in the visitor’s book, like these:
It was great to hear echoed back to me a lot of the questions that I have had going round in my head about this work and dementia more broadly.
So, what does all of this have to do with care? Well, I think about care a lot and how we care for each other – or not.
My work in dementia as well as with people with a range of needs demands that I and my colleagues really consider who is in the space and what we do with and for them. It is vital in my work that people’s voices are given space to truly reflect who they are in the creative process.
And so it is with my Mum, but it is so much more emotional when it is a family member you are caring for.
I am fascinated by the small ways we can show care – in the use of our voice and body in relation to the person in the space, in how we make on offer to work and create with them, making them central to the work. And how hard some people find this to do. I think it’s all about love and having deep respect for someone.
Putting the exhibition together I considered how Mum would feel about the images. I discussed it with her. And I chose photos I think she would be okay with me displaying. Mum always kept very detailed photo albums which have given our family much joy over the years.
I think my Mum would be so proud of Our Long Goodbye. I care deeply about what she would think. In the words of a student nurse I recently worked with - “To care for people, it come with love.”
As part of the tour, alongside my creative director Lowri Evans, we ran workshops in each venue - one was to explore creative writing ideas, and one was considering Our Long Goodbye in the wider context of the world of creative aging. These workshops promoted fantastic discussions.
We asked people in the creative ageing sessions to look at the exhibition either on their own or in pairs and come up with questions in response to one of the artworks or the exhibition as a whole. These could be tiny queries or huge philosophical questions.
We said we wouldn't answer them, but we would hear them all and allow them to just be in the room, almost like a poetry of questions in response to the work.
Some of the questions included:
· Why is ‘the long goodbye’ from a carer's point of view so controversial?
· How did it feel to reveal such personal stories and moments in public?
· What was the process in deciding on the title and what has been the response?
· What would your mum make of the exhibition if she could tell you?
· Do you ever not want to visit her?
· How can you do this with your mum?
· How can you not show everyone this?
· If you don’t show this, who will?
I am fascinated by the small ways we can show care – in the use of our voice and body in relation to the person in the space, in how we make on offer to work and create with them, making them central to the work. And how hard some people find this to do. I think it’s all about love and having deep respect for someone.
This is the story of my Mum
This is one tiny chapter
This is personal
This is emotional
This is sad
This is funny
This is our long goodbye
This is, Jenny Harris, November 2023
Jenny is a freelance drama practitioner based in Manchester who works with groups of all ages and abilities using drama and storytelling to promote well-being, connection and inclusion. Since 2014, she has worked on Storybox, a creative project for people living with dementia and their carers. When Jenny’s Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, her professional and personal worlds collided, and Our Long Goodbye is the outcome of that experience.
Jenny is a member of DCERG (Dementia Carers Expert Reference Group) for Dementia United - a strategic group calling for new thinking on dementia and ageing. Part of Jenny’s creative practice is developing new ways to talk about dementia, especially how to maintain relationships between carers and people living with it.
She hopes this exhibition will connect people and break down social isolation.
Visit the website – ourlonggoodbye.co.uk for more information about the work.